Psychologist Macall Gordon explains that popular sleep training methods seem to take a stance that the ability to sleep longer stretches is linear, meaning that the amount your child sleeps at night should increase with time. Related: Does the pick up, put down method work to get your baby to sleep? You can work on better sleep habits with your baby without subscribing to any specific method of sleep training. Some tips:. Some babies are born good sleepers. Learn sleep disorder signs and when….
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This timeline can vary widely, though. Experts say the science still isn't clear about the health effects on infants of cannabis in breast milk, so they recommend new mothers avoid the drug. Can you spoil a newborn baby?
The reality is you may actually be helping your baby by holding them frequently in those early weeks. Here's the thing: Pacifiers can be super helpful, breastfeeding or not, and breastfeeding parents should stop being guilted for getting a break!
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Log in. Get the BabyCenter app. We went in at about 10 mins and then after another mins to pat his butt and just calm him down no picking up. Nothing helped. He just cried and cried and cried. Actually he screamed, screamed and screamed. We picked him up because we were scared and worried.
In the end, I held him until he calmed down, changed him, rocked him and just sat there together to bring everything back to calm. He was so exhausted and tired, he was just staring into space. I put him down awake, and he fell asleep on his own approx 1 second later. SORRY for the loooong story , my question is: where do you draw the line and actually pick up given that he isnt sick or teething? We certainly dont want to undo all the progress we have made, but we just had to pick him up and calm him down.
Is he going through some sort of extinction burst? Any insight you can give us would be helpful! While there has been no study on check and console vs. So I believe he was just super uber pissed at you. But I believe so. In your circumstance you had clearly made wonderful progress on all sleep fronts. Your gut said he needed you and your gut was right. Our 12 week old wakes up in the middle of the night still so we have been considering CIO method, but she manages to get herself degrees from where we laid her down, so facing the complete opposite way in the crib.
How many times is she waking up during the night? Best of luck! Is she tightly swaddled? Seriously — love love love swaddling babies. All babies under 4 months and many far past that. So that might be a gentle way to keep her from getting stuck in the crib without any tears.
Longest extinction burst in the history of extinction bursts? Crazy, overwhelming mommy guilt? BUT in all this, there is a shred of hope for others who are experiencing similar situations- he sleeps almost all night now, almost every night for the past week. Awesome link! It must be bunnies! You pretty much rock. We started CIO over 2 weeks ago. The first night, he cried for 30 minutes. The next Then Then 20 again. Then back up to And so on and so on. One night, he only cried for 3 minutes, but the next was We stuck with it because at least he was sleeping through the night….
The last two mornings he has been up at 4am, and the sweet cooing has evolved into crying. At 5, unable to listen any more, we gave up, picked him up and nursed him. Have the previous two weeks of hearing the little guy cry been for nothing?
Have we regressed? Does this sound normal? I think these are all valid alternatives to starting the day at AM. Also keep in mind that CIO does not mean night weaning so she could very well have been legitimately hungry. Or she could have just needed a little soothing help to get another hour or two of sleep. The key with CIO is that you are breaking unhealthy sleep habits and helping baby figure out how to fall asleep on their own.
CC— I feel your pain. And then because of all the micro-naps is too tired when he goes to bed without crying for a long time and learn how to fall asleep on his own. I cheated once on night 7 and went in to check on him because I thought he might be hurt since his cry seemed different.
My son just fell asleep after only 10 minutes of crying tonight!!! That is rough. Is bedtime maybe a little too late? Tonight she was EXTRA tired as I made the mistake earlier of trying to Sleep Train for naps in her crib instead of the swing which she was not having, as a result she probably only napped for about 30 mins on her swing all day around 4pm.
We went through her bedtime routine around 5. So I went in for a quick shower 6 mins — when I came out she was fast asleep but had vomited over the crib. I felt soooo terrible. She was sound asleep. Why do you feel terrible? She cried for 6 minutes. Had you been there patting and shooshing it could have easily gone on MUCH longer.
So she vomited. This is not the same as YOU vomiting. Check some of the other comments here where babies are crying for ages and ages. Also good for you for realizing that you were just feeding into it and taking a few steps back.
Too often we feel like we must FIX it and sometimes the fix is to simply remove ourselves for a few moments. We have a good bedtime routine and put him down close to every night. The first night he cried for about 50 minutes but then slept through the night yeah! Since the first night crying times have varied. He is a good napper and with this early waking schedule usually has three 1.
His last nap usually finishes between 3 and While he is not waking in the night, he is waking very early between and I usually put him in the swing, where he will sit and chill quietly but not sleep.
Then I put him back down after about 1. I think his bedtime is way too early. I would try closer to The truth is and I think I need to update things to make it a little more clear is that the window between sleep is generally pretty small during the day. But the window between the last nap and bedtime is generally a bit longer.
I would push back to or even Let me know what happens if you try my advice, OK? I have a very easy going, happy6 month old daughter who naps like a champ usually in swing, seat, with chaos of older sister all around her. We co slept at first and are ready to get her sleeping independently now at night.
Have a pack and play in our room as a first step. She goes down easy at after a little bedtime routine with white noise…. BUT…wakes after an hour or two to protest. Last week she cried from 8pmpm, three straight hours of crying and I cracked.
Note: weaning pacifier in this process. I gave up. Decided to try again last night. Went down no problem at first, only to wake at 9pm and cry straight through until …dozed off for a half hour then cried from 11pm am…again, I cracked. This is an insane amount of crying! Need support. Push on with CIO or give up? What are you doing for soothing? Are you using loud white noise also?
Still swaddle? What sleep associations does she have left to work with? Also is this her first exposure to the pack and play? Do you feel that your presence there is part of the issue? How would you feel about her sleeping in the swing at night temporarily? Has she been nursing a ton at night? What if you feed her when she wakes up and THEN put her down awake.
Does that change the amount of crying any? Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. And enough! I will eventually come get you. Last night she went down, cooed to herself for ten mintues then cried for two hours. Then I read your post and felt okay putting this CIO on hold until we troubleshoot some more.
Pulled her into bed. Not hungry, except for comfort. We broke the swaddle habit a month ago in preparation for this. Maybe do motionless swing for a bit, then crib….
Question about binkie weaning, do we have to break the habit all together in order to break it at night? She falls asleep in the swing, I bring her into bed when we go and she wakes once to nurse typically, no biggie. Then if she wants to wake to nurse at 4am and snuggle in bed until we all get up, great! But my older daughter turned my boob into a pacifier and the bedtime routine took two hours every night and she still only makes it through the night with out some kind of reassurance 2 out of 3 nights….
Was hoping to not make some of the same mistakes the second time around. But in the end, god bless these strong-willed girls of mine. They will run the world someday! If I could go back in time I would have encouraged you to ditch the paci and keep the swaddle. How are you using the binkie? Or just happy to co-sleep and NOT nurse?
Ditch the paci, keep the swaddle. The godfather. I feel like I am going to the mattresses with this sleep thing! Day 7 of CIO and she is still crying. At 11 mons? Can it happen? At all. It makes me want to stab my eyes out. A lot. This is becoming taxing at night time to say the least. What about putting him down on his tummy and doing a little tom tom drum on his back to settle him in on this position?
Also give him TONS of opportunities to practice sitting up and laying down during the day. On the floor all the time! It has been two months of CIO with my…. And she now goes to bd by herself with only a few minutes of crying, only to wake up 45 mins later to cry for atleast an hour…. Good luck weaning off the AM feeding! Baby can do it — I promise! Alexis I could kiss you! Pervious to this he slept through the night from 2 months old.
Then at 6 months was waking through the night. I stumbled on your website and I followed your CIO method. As for CIO being cruel and bad for your baby I say rubbish!! The fact that his mum gets a whole nights sleep makes all the difference. Hi Alexis, Reading your posts has been very interesting. After having done CIO with my son 2 years ago with great success and with minimal pain,I was excited to start it with my 6 month old daughter.
Her naps are good- roughly 1 — 1. She cries only a few minutes before settling down for the night. But at around or she wakes and cries on and off for up to 3 hours. She will stop and we will think she is sleeping,but 3 mins later she is up and wailing again. We have tried not going in there at all, and we have tried going in there to pat her on the back to get back to sleep that way. That did not work. We even tried feeding her once. Now I feel terrible having had her cry so long for 2 weeks just to give up now.
Lots of babies go through a 6 month growth spurt where they legitimately need extra food, even if they were fine without it previously. I know you said you tried offering to feed her one time but am wondering if maybe she was so worked up at that point that she was TOO upset to eat? I would continue to put her down awake with LOUD white noise.
If she wakes up tonight at I would offer her food, check diaper, etc. If before she gets worked up she refuses any food I would probably work to calm her with patting, etc. Possibly consider going back to the use of the swaddle. Oh please oh please help! We did CIO with my daughter when she was about 12 weeks old. I know it was early for her but it was the best thing for the family as I was so sleep deprived.
Well after the initial week things went really well but now at 18 weeks old she has recently started 2 weeks ago maybe? I tried to not go to her until 2am for her feed but started second guessing myself and CIO so I ended up doing check and console at 15 minutes intervals until she went to sleep.
Sorry for the rambling but I guess I have a couple questions. How long do we give CIO at night awakenings for? And 2. So what would I do? I would feed her! And her tummy is tiny so it may not be possible to get all the calories she needs during daylight hours. So I would feed her. This will pass. Ive hit rock bottom. Im really sick and my 9 month old went from sleeping 6hrs straight to 1hr.
Im frustrated ive tried cio. Ive cut his naps to max 3 hrs aday to see if it helped. Ya right nothing lol. I dont know what the problem is. We have routines. Hes not sick. I dont get it. Few things to consider: 1 Run it by the pediatrician. Maybe he snuck an ear infection by you?
You never know so it always pays to check. He might genuinely be hungry? It may be better for HIM to have you not come in? It turned out an ear infection that a doctor missed in all her smartness. His bedtime is 6pm since hes up by 3 pm at the latest. He still stands in his crib screaming at night. I go in change feed and check his temp and such. Based on the pitch of his cry if its just a mad cry cause I wont pick him up ive had to shut his door and let him go at it. Last night it lasted maybe 10 mins before he fell over asleep no joke.
Its hard cause hes sick right now but getting better. He hates sleeping though lol. He generally sleeps maybe 8 hrs a night and if im lucky 2hr total naps during the day. I cant do cio at naps he actually harms himself in his crib cause hes had temper tantrum since 7 months old. Im talking real temper tantrums he pulls my hair bites intentionally hurts himself kicks and everything.
Even throws himself on the floor like a toddler. Oh well no one has solutions to that lol. But thanks for your help your sites amazing! We newly committed to CIO Ferber style for our 6 month old daughter this week after we had to lose the swaddle a week and a half ago. First night, she woke at 11, cried until , then woke again at 4 and cried for 20 minutes. Second night, she woke at , cried until Tonight, she started at That sounds pretty miserable. Hungry babies are more than capable of crying A LOT.
What happens if you go in, offer her some food, and then put her back into the crib? I would play around with that as I wonder if that is the root problem. That sounds reasonable. Unfortunately, this led to her eating too little during the day, which disrupted her naps. Two follow-up questions: 1. More convenient for us, obviously, but also I know sleep is shallower in the early morning, so it might be harder for her and probably us to settle at that point.
When do you think that would be safe? Most 6 month olds ARE capable of a 12 hour fast but sometimes they need 1 feed to happily make it through the night for another month or two. Hi Alexis, First of all, thank you so much for your website and for your thoughtful and caring advice. I agree wholeheartedly with your advice. I sleep trained my first two children following healthy sleep habits, happy child.
My problem is my third child. Aubrey is a happy healthy 6 month old. He is my most easygoing child and generally naps well and sleeps well. But we have a few areas that need tweaking and I am at m y absolute wits end. New problem. After hours after his 6pm bedtime he wakes up and cries for me to come and soothe him back to sleep. This is consistent. It is not due to hunger, it is a lack of self soothing. This is the one time of the day where he is NOT easygoing.
He loses his mind screaming for me, for an hour and a half. He used to only cry for minutes. Now he really gives her. He is over 18 pounds. I wake him at 8am.
Where, oh where am I going wrong? Say midnight? We are consistent. I have almost never gone in, except when we decided to try check and console for one night that was a bust, he just got madder , or a couple of times when I lost my mind and went in sobbing.
I just need some consistency. That first wake up might be at 9, or at 1, and it has even been as late as 3 many times in the past.
It is driving me absolutely crazy, second guessing, shaking and crying when I hear my last baby cry, he hits me in all the mommy buttons. This all sounds so familiar—the age, the long screaming fits, the unpredictable wakeup times in the night, the teething complicating things. Some of the screaming is clearly not from hunger, but frustration about being awake or separation anxiety or something. Thanks man. Good luck with your move…. At this time we are just ignoring him until a reasonable time, say after if he goes down at 6.
Two night ago he woke after 3 hours and cried for an hour and a half and last night he woke and grumbled for a few minutes and put himself back to sleep until after 1.
If it makes you feel better get them some starbucks cards and a nice note of apology. Also we had company here a few weeks ago who had a baby who cried for 45 minutes at night.
For us? Not such a big deal. Three nights in, and the CIO plus feeding seems to be doing the trick aside from some settling unpleasantness last night after a Thanksgiving trip home that ran too late—although we think the exhaustion also led to her sleeping straight through to Thanks for the idea! And the neighbors turned out to be completely cool about it; their last downstairs neighbor had a much louder baby, it turns out.
My gut says he is waking up surprised. Other possibilities would be any timed devices mobiles, music, etc. Hi Alexis, Thanks for responding! There are no timed devices that change. Sometimes he is fully awake and sometimes semi-sleeping. He still does it… Three nights ago he screamed for an hour and a half, then the last two nights woke up, grumbled, then soothed himself back to sleep until after midnight. The only thing that has changed is that 4 nights ago he figured out how to roll onto his tummy at night.
So, as for your advice, my question is, should we just continue to ignore him if he wakes before midnightish to allow him to soothe himself?
Our daughter is We are doing full extinction and have followed your awesome 14 step plan. Night 1: she cried for 45 mins before falling asleep.
She then woke 2 hours later and cried on and off for an hour. I fed her when she woke at one and again at 5. Night 2: only 10 mins of crying before she fell asleep! Woke at 1 fed her. Up at 2 and 5 for feeds. Night 4: no crying when she fell asleep. Woke at 11 and cried for an hour before falling asleep. Night 5: no crying at bedtime. Same wake ups for feeds. Night 6: no crying at bedtime. Up at 11 cried for 20 mins.
Which brings us to night 7: I had my husband do the bedtime routine instead of me. She cried really hard for half an hour after he put her down. He was so upset! I told him it was probably an extinction burst but he is convinced that the change in routine him vs me has set us back. What are your thoughts on this? Should I be worried about the random 11pm wakings? Thank you! Then it passes. We are on our 5th night of CIO with our 6 month old son. He has consistently been crying for 30 minutes each night before falling asleep.
That does happen sometimes. Another possibility is that bedtime is slightly off too early or too late. Or has baby been up TOO long? I think we got a strong willed one! The good news is that tonight was our 9th night and our son only cried for around ten minutes, so it finally feels like we are making some progress. That said, by pm he can hardly keep his eyes open. Hmmmmm, will have a good, long think about timings. Hi I have a 6 month old and am dealing with this same issue.
My whole plan was to have an 8pm bedtime tonight, but when she started acting so sleepy I thought I had better get her in bed. I think the issue was his being stubborn, rather than timings being wrong. We have always worked with a 7pm bedtime, and the late afternoon nap continues even now he is 11 months.
At 11 months, he has two naps a day, and the second one is around the 4pm mark. So, to answer your question, we did a few more days of CIO and it then all seemed to click into place.
Hi- My daughter is 5 months old. Since the day we brought her home from the hospital she was swaddled and bounced to sleep both on a yoga ball and in a bouncing hammock. It got to the point that she also needed to be bounced to stay asleep, which was more work than I could handle day and night.
Also, when she hit 4 months her naps shortened to minutes and she stopped eating during the day. She was constantly overtired and a cranky mess by 4pm. She began waking additional times per night to eat. We decided on the extinction method for both naps and night sleep.
We also moved her into her own room, switched her from sleeping in her hammock to sleeping in her crib, and stopped swaddling her. A lot at once, and we knew it was going to be a rough road. But we figured if we were breaking one habit, why not break them all. I quickly gave up on nap training because she was getting zero sleep during the day, just hours of crying, and decided to only focus on night sleep for the time being. I have been holding and nursing her during her naps now.
We aim for a 6pm bedtime, but most nights we put her down sooner because she starts showing signs of being overtired rubbing eyes, very fussy, yawning. We have a pretty solid bedtime routine, although it does end in nursing and sometimes she gets really angry when I pull her off to put her in her crib. She wakes pretty consistently between 6 and each morning. Her times for crying herself to sleep the past 8 nights include: 1 hour 8 minutes, 43 minutes, 1 hour 30 minutes, 33 minutes, 33 minutes, 34 minutes, 42 minutes, 1 hour 10 minutes.
She wakes one or two times per night to nurse. Half the time I put her in her crib when she finishes nursing and she falls right to sleep. The other times she cries for 40 minutes to an hour and a half. When I go in to nurse her at night she always has a poopy diaper.
I fear that she poops before fall asleep and this might be why she is having so much trouble getting to sleep. Did we try to break too many habits at once? Can I nurse as the final step to her bedtime routine, or is this just a recipe for disaster? Should I check her diaper if she is still crying after a certain amount of time, even though this goes against the extinction method? Is it normal that after 8 nights of CIO that she still cries over an hour? How would you feel about going back to the swaddle?
The pooping thing is a challenge. Do you have a night vision monitor? Or what I would do is to check to see if she has poop once she is asleep. Hi Alexis, thank you SO much for your site! He is now 7. He puts himself to sleep usually within minutes. Problem is, he still waking up numerous times each night. The wakings seem habitual.
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